I want to be better, but I also want to get lost in Netflix and find inspiration through characters only to wind up watching more Netflix. Recently I’ve been struck by the quote “It doesn’t matter what you do once in a while, it matters what you do daily”. Mostly I live my life the same each and every day, once in a while I pick up a self-help book or start a project that I think would ‘become something’. So here I am again, in my ‘once in a while’. The difference this time is I have one toddler and a baby on the way, I get to stay at home raising my tots. My career is my dream, I used to fantasize about being able to spend my days ‘finding’ myself. Sure, I work harder than I’ve ever worked before and that is because I have actual life depending on me. One day my boys are going to marry someone and I’ll be damned if I let their wives have the same complains I have about my husband. All that responsibility aside I have more time than ever to ‘find’ myself. In between the play time and shit (literally shit). Here I am, about two weeks into my self decided ‘first step’ of a lifelong change. The plan is to be my own version of a miracle story. You know, like when a drug addict one day wakes up and says “Fuck this, I’m gonna be famous” then writes a tell all book and becomes rich a famous? Like that except I am a typical person who just has average issues and my miracle is to not have average issues. I want exorbitantly loving relationships, wealth, health and confident purpose of what I offer this world.
My literal first step was to read, continuously and keep momentum with reading. I enjoyed reading self-help books but my usual pattern was to read one or even part of one and feel so great that I”d put it down; eventually cycling back to feeling I needed help again. After steadily reading and lite journal entries I came to some pungent conclusions. If I really wanted to attain my bold desires I needed to do more then just read. “Don’t wish for something more then you are willing to work for it” Tony Robins. With a focus on ‘a confident purpose of what I offer this world’ I decided to start a blog. In my readings I saw some of themes to be ‘sharing your story’ and ‘start somewhere, anywhere’. Welcome to my first step, there is no better time then now.